Will run for cake

Some people are born athletes. You can see it in their eyes - they were born to run, jump, lift. Compete. They're the sort of people who can't go a couple of days without exercising. The sort who take joggers and gym gear with them on holidays.

I am not one of these people.

I do not exercise out of joy. I exercise because I have to. I exercise because it's just not possible to eat as much as I do (or to eat what I do) without gaining lots of weight.

I've said it time and time again - the day I fit back into a pair of size 8 jeans is the day that I throw away my gym gear and give it up for good (....or at least until I no longer fit back into those jeans).

But lately, one could say I've hit rock bottom.  Or at least I hope this is rock bottom because surely things can't get any worse than this. I'm heavier than I have ever weighed in my life. My 'fat' clothes barely fit and people have well and truly started commenting on my recent weight gain.

To be honest, this really shouldn't be unfamiliar territory. I am the poster-girl for yo-yo dieting. Or at least...I used to be. I've been on a diet since I was about 10. Not because I was fat (okay, maybe a bit chubby but never overweight) but because it was the only way to cope with all the feasting. So my life was a cycle of 3 months feasting, 1 month dieting. And it worked so well! My weight fluctuated 5kg back and forth. I was happy. Content.

But now. There is no yo-yo. Despite what feels like almost constant dieting (some apparently call this a 'lifestyle change' - I refer to it as HELL!) I am unable to lose anything. I am fitter and stronger (thanks to Crossfit) but my clothes fit the same and the measurements haven't moved an inch.

Somewhere, somehow, that balance between food and exercise has come undone. In a quest to regain that balance I've committed myself to running the Run Melbourne half-marathon on 15 July 2012. It's as simple as that.

I will run for food.

I will run so I can continue to eat copious amounts of cheese. I will run so I don't feel bad when I gorge on flourless chocolate cake and creme freche. I will run so I don't feel bad about a couple of glasses of red on a friday night.

I will run in hope that one day I will actually pick up a pair of size 8 jeans and slip right into those babies!

Oh god.....I'll actually have to run.......